TV Evangelist: Climate Change is God’s Punishment
November 1, 2013
Look for more of this going forward.
You see, as the Lord’s weathergirls tell it, abortion is the main cause of all the recent hurricanes and polar ice cap melting madness. But drugs and suicide are also ticking off the Eternal SnowMeister to the point where he’s causing “drought” and “rain” and other weather extremes to show his unhappiness with us.
I do have to say I was somewhat disappointed not to hear that gay people were also partly responsible for the change in the weather. I’m kind of enjoying the fact that here in DC we’ve gone up at least half a zone, if not an entire zone, in terms of our summer planting season. And I do grow a mean hydrangea, that I was hoping my fellow sodomites could take credit for. But alas, I’ll have to credit this year’s blooms to the husband-murdering lesbian witches over at Planned Parenthood. Some girls have all the luck.
As wacky as it is, Barton and Copeland’s theory is the same one that Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson used following 9/11: If you tick God off too much, he’ll remove his protection from the earth and wipe you out, à la Noah (well, à la everyone-else-but-Noah).
Here’s Barton with more:
“Whap, here comes storms like we’ve never seen before, and here comes floods, and here comes climate stuff that we can’t explain; all of the hot times and all the cold times and not enough rain and too much rain, and we’re flooding over here and we’ve got droughts over here… And today we’re saying ‘oh no, it’s global warming.’ No, we opened a door that lost God’s protection over our environment and that’s our choice”