Good News: Pat Robertson will Pray Hurricane Away

September 12, 2018

Pat Robertson’s Bible thumping empire is in the path of the oncoming climate-fueled Hurricane Florence.

All y’all can relax now.

5 Responses to “Good News: Pat Robertson will Pray Hurricane Away”

  1. grindupbaker Says:

    Might as well but the SEP OPM force field has always been far more powerful protection for this species.

  2. Anna Nyms Says:

    I wondered why the large number of people staying on the beach and in low lying areas that are being interviewed on the news. I grew up in Southwest Louisiana and we know that staying in a storm surge area is pure idiocy. If you want to ride out the storm, you need to carefully track the storm surge and wind, then find a sturdy structure like a commercial multi story building or parking garage out of the storm surge area. I don’t think Pat Robertson’s self serving mumbling to God is going to help one bit.

  3. Gingerbaker Says:

    This is fake news. Pat Robertson died five years ago. That’s an animatronic corpse.

  4. ubrew12 Says:

    Robertson: “And we’ll say ‘I was there and I saw Hurricane Florence averted’… Jesus said ‘When you speak to the mountain and you don’t doubt in your heart, it will do the thing that you have commanded it to do’ ”

    So, if Florence continues on its predicted track, Robertson, as with all charlatans, has already identified his excuse: ‘you doubted the word of God, so this is all YOUR fault.
    I did what I could…’

    There is only one solution for those stricken by Florence: send Robertson more money. You send money… He’ll send prayers… that’s how it works…

  5. Dave Jewett Says:

    And now with the hurricane weakening they’ll spout that their god did that and that global warming is all hype.

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