Happy Holidays! From your Friend, Coal

November 26, 2015

These are “season’s greetings” animations from the coal industry, circa 2008.
Maybe its a sign of progress that not even the coal industry would be stupid enough to put out productions like this in 2015.

Worth celebrating the small things.



8 Responses to “Happy Holidays! From your Friend, Coal”

  1. dumboldguy Says:

    Ugly little suckers. Is that the best the coal marketing geniuses could do?

    And if they were brown instead of black, they could be the Coal Christmas TURD Carolers. That WOULD be appropriate, since coal is the fossil fuel “gift” that craps up the environment most.

  2. maybe there is a reason if you are bad you get a lump of coal for Christmas

  3. indy222 Says:

    Unbelievable… How stupid do they think we are? Says a lot about their disconnection from reality.

  4. Don Osborn Says:

    Unfortunately it most likely was a hit in many Repub and right wing corners. In fact, I am sure today that most of the Repub nominees would think it great and a real testament to real America. They really would use it today.

    • dumboldguy Says:

      In spite of what AndyLee, indy222, and I think, it appears that Don is right on the money with his assessment. Being close to DC, I opened the window and listened closely to the mutterings emanating from inside the beltway (they are quite loud and CAN be heard 30 miles to the west in VA where I live). I learned the following.

      1) The Repugnant candidates ARE in love with the idea. They are presently making secret promises of support for the coal industry in exchange for having individual Coal Carolers named after them (and coal dust encrusted campaign money shoveled their way). The leaders in the bidding war so far are (front row, L to R) Trump, Carson, Bush and (rear row L to R) Rubio, Cruz, Christie, and Huckabee. Fiorina was disqualified because Trump said she was “uglier than a lump of coal”. Trump tried to get Carson disqualified because his color gave him an unfair advantage, but Coal Jesus threatened to smite him so he backed off.

      2) There are plans to send multiple groups of Coal Carolers around the country this holiday season. Auditions are being held among the governors that are suing the EPA over the new rules, and include the second tier Repugnant presidential candidates and many senators and congressmen.

      3) Inhoffe plans to up his snowball game this year to the “take no prisoners” level by embedding large pieces of coal in the snowballs so they will do maximum damage when thrown at “warmists”.

      4) Lamer Smith wanted to be in one of the traveling choirs but he’s too dumb to remember the words, and reads so slowly that he can’t keep up. He suggested that he be allowed to have a fossil fuel lobbyist with him to put the words in his mouth but that was rejected.

      5) Finally, Don nailed it with it being “…a hit in many Repub and right wing corners”. I was at my local WalMart at the crack of dawn this AM to take part in the rush to fill the Walton’s pockets with gold in the name of Jesus, and witnessed a terrible scene in the Music DVD section. There was a stampede to buy the new 2015 Coal Carolers album, resulting in many injuries and several apparent deaths.

      And I hate to admit it, but I smiled at the thought of there being fewer Repugnant voters around my area next year to reelect Bob Marshall as my state delegate for the 12th. straight time. Bob is known for saying things like “…disabled children can be God’s vengeance against women who have had abortions, incest is sometimes voluntary” and questions the sexuality of a Supreme Court justice who has favored marriage equality. He has been a singer with the VA Coal Carolers group for two decades. Anyone who wants to lose weight by upchucking their next meal of leftover turkey can read about Bob here.


  5. Lionel Smith Says:

    “Unfortunately it most likely was a hit in many Repub and right wing corners.”

    Who get a mention here: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

  6. dumboldguy Says:

    Borowitz’s scientists HAVE visited my neighborhood.

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