Above, Exxon Chairman Rex Tillerson admits we might have a problem.
The piece below is not satire.
The ExxonMobil Research and Engineering Company has an immediate opening for a member of technical staff at its Corporate Strategic Research laboratory, located in Annandale, New Jersey.
We are seeking a candidate to advance research and assessment providing fundamental understanding on global climate change issues. The candidate would lead research in areas such as Earth systems science, integrated assessment and energy modeling, and the role of technologies and systems in managing the risks posed by global climate change. The successful candidate will develop collaborative research efforts, contribute significant publications, contribute to assessments (e.g., the IPCC) and demonstrate strong scientific leadership within both the corporation and external scientific community.
A PhD in engineering, science, economics, or related field is required. A strong background in science and engineering fundamentals is essential, particularly in the areas of computational and mathematical analysis. Mid-career candidates with strong publication records and expertise commensurate with participation in assessments as well as exceptional early-career candidates will be considered. The successful candidate should be willing to explore new science areas and have excellent analytical skills, demonstrate strong leadership, and have outstanding written and verbal communication skills allowing him or her to develop a broad range of research programs and convey results effectively.
ExxonMobil’s Corporate Strategic Research (CSR) laboratory is a dynamic and exciting place to work. CSR is located in scenic western New Jersey, about an hour west of New York City and 45 minutes northwest of Princeton. Within CSR, active research programs exist in all areas of the company’s business and include the traditional fields of chemical engineering, materials science, chemistry, physics, geoscience and mechanical engineering. Interdisciplinary research is the norm, and close ties are maintained with academic and national laboratory communities through collaborations and publication or presentation of results.
ExxonMobil offers an excellent working environment and a competitive compensation and benefits package. Please submit your cover letter and resume to this website.
ExxonMobil is an Equal Opportunity Employer. All qualified applicants will receive consideration for employment without regard to race, color, religion, sex, national origin, protected veteran status, or disability status.
The willful ignorance displayed by Tillerson is absolutely awesome. He has only a BS in civil engineering, but multiple PHD’s in Pile it Higher and Deeper. Many Exxon-Mobil employee hours must have been spent tutoring him on all the devious talking points he spews without blinking an eye. “There are engineering solutions to all of this”? “We can adapt”? “Millions of lives can be saved if we burn MORE fossil fuel”?
Regarding the “job opening” (are you SURE it’s not satire?), my first reaction was “They don’t already have a position like this? What have they been waiting for?”
Read the thing through several times. Each time I did, my crap detectors reacted more strongly to certain passages. To cite just a few—–“A PHD in ENGINEERING, (science), ECONOMICS, or RELATED FIELDS”?—–“A strong background in (science) and ENGINEERING fundamentals”? “Particularly in MATHEMATICAL ANALYSIS”?
Yep—-sounds like they want someone who is NOT a scientist but who will be able to sling BS about how we can ADAPT while they attempt to sell even more oil and gas (to make poor people’s lives better, etc.). And I love the “mid-career” bit. Translation: “Someone who has been around long enough to have established a record that shows the ability to obfuscate, deny, and tap dance around the truth of AGW”.
Actually, I know of one good candidate for this job, although he is not educated enough nor is he smart enough to hold it for long. DAVE BURTON, our computer “engineer” SLR “expert scientist” friend—-Go, Dave!
I heard Willie Soon already grabbed it, much to the relief of the head of PR.
Figures. He has been whoring for the fossil fuel interests for a long time. If Soon steps too far out front, though, the “head of PR” may have his hands full when the real scientists proceed to shoot him down.
PS I forgot to say that Soon fits my “translation” nicely. And condolences to Dave Burton—–many are called, but few are etc.l
Seems like I saw Dave in the news a month or so ago either promoting other folks, or sitting himself on some committee dedicated to informing the NC legislature on sea level. The committee was being padded with contrarians and the non-contrarians were exiting the scene, or something like that; don’t remember the details.
Fresh meat for Exxon’s climate change dog and pony show.
As I recall, Tillerson also adamantly vowed Exxon would not be stopped in its efforts to mine and monetize its underground assets. I can’t find the link to that, can anyone point me there?
If it is about human lives and elevating them out of poverty, then how come they are still suffering despite your BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF PROFIT EACH YEAR. Ass. Oh, and solar power will work really well in places you can’t pipe oil to. And finally: yes the species has adapted to many a crisis in the past, but at what cost? How many suffered and/or died in that process of adaptation?